The gift

I wrote my dad a card with a sum of money attached to it. I can't exactly remember everything I wrote, but it went something along these lines:

"Dad, hope you'll forgive this small amount of help I could give. It's a far cry from the $1000 US some other son sends his family monthly. I wasn't fortunate enough to have the same opportunity as them. Had that been the case, I would have probably been away from you as well, toiling just to be able to put BETTER food on the table. But the good thing is - we are already enjoying something that they still have to grow old and gray to be enjoying."

I think I needed to say that since I was really picking a good time to tell him that I was really getting pissed off at being compared to my other batchmates who are rich or have migrated to other countries. Truly it makes me curse my being born in this country. However I realize that no matter how much you try to be change your identity when you're a foreigner in another country - you will and always will be - a native of your own country.

For example:
"So if you're chinese, it doesn't matter if you're in the Philippines - you're still Chinese, and with it, every trait, every habit"

- You don't necessarily have to be in the most industrialized country to be this. No matter how high or far you go, you'll die one day, Your consolation is that more successful people in life will die more painfully, because they have much much more to lose. Be thankful for the gift of death. Like a famous CEO said - it is nature's cleansing agent.

- Having realized this early in life, it all comes down into being all you can be - within your means. Be thankful for the gift of realization.

- Most importantly - all you have to do to realize you're lucky - is to look at other's misfortune, then look back at your so-called misfortune. Everything will be much much easier. Be thankful for the gift of life.

God, no matter how crazy we think He is sometimes, still manages to make these gifts felt - not always in the way we expect, but in a way that we'll feel it.

30+ is a turn-on

One of expectations society brings us is that love is the reason for marriage. In the olden times, it's 100% true. But as time went by, it started going down.. down to let's say.. 50% (I'm being kind at this point). But wait, it's half past the 21st century.. hmm.. I really want to say that it's.. 25% love-75% the other reason.. but I can't seem to convince myself of that.

Anyway, what I wanted to say is..

at age 30 and above, I believe girls become even more attractive. This is for a number of reasons:

1. Loss of cards - she loses the "if you don't marry me before I hit 30, I'll break up with you" card. My favorite reason. The most f_cked up reason for breaking up with your guy I suppose. The solution? Find and hook up with a RICH guy. If he doesn't marry you before you hit 30, he's probably not serious about you. But if you're banking on a poor Filipino guy - there you have it.. tough luck.

2. Lessened shopping attitude (actually I think this isn't true, but whatever) - I can really compare, having seen girls at their early, mid and late 20's. Come early 20's, a good number of girls are so full of "it" (go figure this one out yourself). Mid-20's.. well yeah they're still there, wanting the *icing still. But come late 20's, omg, it's like a race to the christmas rush. They can only ask so much from a man. If the guy couldn't marry them due to financial reasons, and you want to get married NOW, then what do you do? Here's what you do - you break up with the guy. And marry the next guy you are in a relationship with. Right? =D

3. No wasting of time
But all that pride and sh!t disappears when you hit 30.. since it doesn't matter anyway in the long run. The 30-something girl will no longer beat around the bush when giving a guy feedback. For guys, you will more or less know if your time with each other is leading somewhere. I wasn't implying that there's no courtship. It's just that for people who want to be honest with each other for the rest of their lives, it is probably one of the hyprocritical acts we do, because someone wanted the icing, when what they really want is the cake.

For a guy, this theory also works - If you do fancy a girl who is in her 30's, then you must probably really really like her. Why? Because there are probably a lot of younger girls in your life which will almost satisfy your every fantasy, but no -- you decide to hang out with a girl who crossed the 30-line. The most plausible reason in my head right now is that we'll know immediately if you'll like each other. No need for icing.

4. Open-mindedness - I hate the country whoever influenced a nation that 30 is the "get married before or else" age. If you happen to fall in this category - congratulations, you have just contributed to the correction of a 300-year long bad habit.

5. Experience - I don't know about you people but I like someone who I didn't have to teach "things" to. Most especially for someone who hit 30,

* Taken from a smart Filipina friend - Icing = "the BS". Sweet nothings, anything which causes the sparkle.

The Pen that doesn't write anymore

I always have a pen with me wherever I go. This pen, I make sure it runs out of ink before I actually buy a new one. It's the way I've always been. Because of this habit I have, every pen other people give me ends up for months into years of not being used.

When a day came that I actually wanted to use one of those never-used pens that I had for months, I find that they don't write that well anymore (if at all). It seems that the ballpoint pens when left too long without being used, end up being unusable in the long run.

While I feel sorry for the pen being unusable, I figured it's like I didn't want to use it. I didn't use the a pen because I already am using one and I was happy with it. By "being happy with it" - I mean the pen renders good service, given it writes as it should.

Looking back now at the many pens in my desk drawer that have gone to waste, choices in our life are like that - they come to us in many shapes, colors and features. We don't have to feel bad about not taking them all. You simply have to make a choice and stick with it.

Screw the use of the pen - that's what the printer is for.. ^_^

Card Game

"It is human to forgive and not to forget"

When people do anything to us, we remember them. Yes, we also remember good things as well as the bad things. You can classify all your deeds towards other people as "giving them cards". To clarify - it's like those cards that you can play at card games. The sooner you understand this human tendency, you'll be able to be more aware of how to deal with people.

Here are some examples:

My dad never bought me anything more expensive than what I've ever bought for myself, so the average son would call him a cheapskate. He therefore gave me a "I am a stingy person" card. However, he also gave me a "I want you to be able to stand on your own" card.

Because of those cards I have, I know now not to expect any financial help from my father at all. And I am proud of him for teaching me to be independent.

-= O =-

When you're a girl and someone invites you out and you decline, depending on your reason - you give the guy a "I'm not really that interested in you" card or "Ask me out again" card, and if your attitude reeks of it, you also give him a "I'm building up my importance, ask me again" card.

The guy on the other hand gives the girl a "I asked you out, so I won't ask you out again ever. You do the asking." card. You also give her a "You probably think that I want you, but no I just want to hang out with you" card, depending on the guy's delivery.

-= O =-

Take note however, that some actions produce certain cards whether you like it or not, no matter how suave your delivery is.

If you hurt your girlfriend by breaking up with her, you give her a "I'm a jerk" card. It doesn't matter if you want to be friends with her or not or how honest you've been. You give this card to her without you being aware of it. If you cheat on her and she finds out, you give her a "I'll probably cheat again" card OR a "That will be the last time I'll cheat on you card". The girl gives the guy however, a "If I find a better guy, we're through" card.

When your boss screws you over by foregoing you for a promotion when you deserve it, he gives you a "I am unappreciative of your efforts to the company" card. The employee most probably gives him a "I'm leaving for a company that will take of me better" card.

-= O =-

There are also some instances that you can produce an inifinite number of the same card you just gave out.

When your girl leaves you for a guy who is wealthier than you, you get a "I am a materialistic person" card. Then you end up giving a "If all girls are like that, I'd rather be single for life" card.

Remember that this applies to almost every aspect of life. It isn't just limited to relationships.

See.. the list goes on an on. This is rather fun actually! ^^;

(Another serving of) Thoughts

Shitting in your backyard

I came across an article in a prominent publication a friend pointed me to read. There was this article about a columnist who gave really condescending statements about her own countrymen. There's probably only one reason why she wrote that way - because she's rich.

Well, that's the problem with being too rich - you tend to look down on others irresponsibly oftentimes. This isn't true for all since I know wealthily successful people who aren't aristocratic and I find them even more approachable than a well-to-do social climber.

We are today's heroes

If there is anything I admire the filipino people for - it's their indellible spirit. We are perhaps the only nation whose people can afford to smile despite all the odds reality brings us. We endure being separated from our families in order to provide livelihood to our loved ones, and in the midst of this, we can smile still. Can you find a trait like that in any other nation's people?

On the other end..

Of course you have to accept the fact that sometimes, love of country is lost in the middle of your life, and you just gave up on your country. When you do fall into this category of people, good for you. Good luck in finding a country that will love you as much, but whatever happens - no other country will respect you as much as your mother country. But wait.. no I shouldn't be saying that.. I should be saying, take care, we will miss you.

(I will probably be saying this to myself oneday)

Lessons (again)

Why you are where you are

A line from my gal pal went something like this:

"Where you are right now is where you should be" or something to that extent"

After hearing that, it kinda hit me - "plan ahead, but leave plans open-ended." It sounds contradictory, but it actually is true. You'll never know that things might turn better, what would seem the worst scenario. You've probably made plans to do this thing, ok you plan it out, but don't get too specific. Leave some stuff open. You just might enjoy things better that way.

If it works, it works; if it doesn't work, it doesn't work

This is a reality I really had a tough time accepting. There are things in life that simply won't go good for you. But if you can develop the ability to learn how to spot this early in life, then you'll be making better choices for your life. Which brings me to the third one...

Aside from being born the way you where, everything is a choice

If you were born with misfortune, that wasn't your fault. It IS your fault however, if you live just resigning yourself to the misfortune (or whatever it is in your life that you don't like). It doesn't matter if you succeed or fail - the point is the JOURNEY.

Why you should use your powers

Can you imagine IF Superman really existed and he didn't use his power at all? That would really be waste.

I have a rich friend. she doesn't have to go abroad to live the good life. Heck, he doesn't even have to work either. His parents own a business which is stable to fund even his grandchildren. And true to the direction life is taking him in - he doesn't work. He spends the day in front of his computer almost whole day playing games, watching movies even, etc.

I have another friend - she's pretty, yet single. She's in and out of relationships, but hasn't really had any relationship I would call long. She's not exactly rich, but from a well-to-do family. But because of invites from so many guys, she gets to save anyway because all those guys inviting her out always pay for her while she still insists to. Her fear of not having the same status here as in overseas is what's keeping her from wanting to try looking for a job abroad. Of course because she's young I can understand that. That would probably change sooner or later.

I have a third friend - he works in a company his family owns. Because of this, his position is high, and he chooses his working hours. Because he picks his working hours, it's almost equivalent to doing whatever the hell he wants.

You wouldn't exactly call those "normal" situations. And if you were a stranger and you met people like these, you'd probably tell youself "it's not fair. I'm working my ass off at fixed time, my salary is meager, i don't have these opportunities blah blah".

The thing here is - those friends I have aren't doing any wrong, although they don't live their lives as you'd expect most people would. This is because THEY CAN. That's using your powers right there. I'm sure each of us has their own situation - one that is of power and you can use it. You just have to take a closer look at your life and you'll see it.

Lost in Seoul 10-12

The last pieces of the Korea Project is now published.

I love the country already.

Wish I was Korean now.

Lost in Seoul Vol. 6-9

Chapters 6 thru 9 is now out.

Lost in Seoul Vol. 3-5

Chapters 3 to 5 is now out. Enjoy

Lost in Seoul Vol. 2

Chapter II of "The Korea Project" is now out. Enjoy!

Lost In Seoul Vol. 1

I have returned from Seoul, Korea a couple of days ago. It feels really great. It's like being to heaven and coming back to actually talk about it.

I have made a microblog titled "The Korea Project". We will be busy with this in the weeks to come. Although I think I'll make sure I update a little more often that we do with the regular UWC posting.

Chapter 1 is currently online.

See you there!

Weird evening

I spent an evening drinking, listening to a friend's wasted story.. something I occasionally do. We talked about many things. Many evil things, many good things, and many useless things.

A tribute to being Filipino *sic* (part 1)

Don't get the wrong idea. I didn't mean to appraise the Filipino people. It's just that, looking back at how I got my Korean visa, it was even more difficult than a camel passing through the eye of a needle. I've seen many nationals from other countries pass by me in the consulate office, some American, some Canadian, some Japanese, heck some even African, and some even Singaporean. There is a separate line for Filipinos, furthermore there is a separate line for Filipinos applying for a visa for the first time (the line I was in).

It's really a sad thought. How could the whole Filipino nation be thought of as dishonest, when it's a certain number that do TNT (tago-ng-tago) when they get a tourist visa?

I stand corrected. The "certain number" is a really BIG number.

I arrest my case. It sometimes makes me wish that God gave you a choice of your citizenship before you were born.

But hey, you have to play the hand you've been dealt. So I can complain all I want..


..or I can rise up.

Lessons

[ I just need a quick break before writing a real post so yeah this is the theme for this post ]

Just shut up

I love how the year is turning out. So far the 1st half of the year has been a season of reunions and lessons. One of the valuable lessons I have learned is silence.

Most of the time, whenever I think of something I want and brag about it or brag about working on it - it usually never manages to leave the drawing board. Trust me, TRY shutting up whenever you dream of a thought. At most tell it to one of your best friends, and leave it at that. Fate has a lot of ears.

Whenever there's this thing you want.. like say.. to work on your industry certification, study a foreign language, or have a girlfriend. Better keep quiet than talk about it. And just work on it. Start blabbering about it when it's there already. Believe me, it has a much higher probability of becoming true.

History repeats itself, but..

This age old saying is very true - it's scary. It's scary to the point that even the mistakes made in history will be repeated as well. There's nothing you can really do, but embrace and accept it.

When you have a friend that always picks what's not right over what is right (then picks the right choice eventually at the cost of hurting many people ) - how do you prevent that from happening? I used to think that I need to do something about it - but after the wisdom of experience beseeched me to listen, I decided that I would not do anything anymore but let people concerned deal with their own problems.

Don't think about the future (too much)

I love my friends for this. They make me realize that you should only plan for what you know is really going to happen. We shouldn't plan for anything more than next week. It never happens exactly how you plan it, so don't bother.

Filipino traits that suck (airline version)

The following post is a collection of comments from anonymous flyers on PAL. While we understand they fall on deaf ears and blind eyes, we wanted everyone wanting to go back to manila as balikbayans to at least know these stories:

"I bought a box of AA batteries to use for my friend's radio in the US. When I reached the philippine immigration in new NAIA, they opened my luggage. The immigration officer said that the batteries were not allowed on-board the plane, and so they had to be left behind. Weird thing is when I told them I would open one to use for my digital camera, they said it was ok. WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT ABOUT? I'm so sad at how garapalan (greedy) our national airline service has become. I'd like to believe the rule about batteries (or any power source) not being allowed onboard, but my other cousin who was flying with her had the same amount of batteries in her bag but hers were all opened, and she wasn't harassed by immigration. Something smells fishy.."

-oOo-

"I can't believe at how our immigration services personnel is treating filipinos on departure. After I presented my passport to the immigration officer, I was warned by the immigration officer that someone with my name has a criminal record. And that the next time, I needed to file for a declaration document saying that I am not this convicted person. This "document of declaration" is a document that you have to pay for. This immigration officer never even looked up the alleged person's date of birth and other related-information on the computer, so I didn't pay him any heed and just proceeded after uttering 'yes, ok' several times."

-oOo-

"I'm disgusted at how the porters and customs officers in our port of departure are explicitly asking for money from filipino flyers. They make phrases like 'sige na ma'am, baka may natitira kayong peso dyan, amin na lang po'. It's really disgusting and is just a demonstration to watching foreign passengers at how screwed the values of people of this country is"

-oOo-

"I'm wondering what this stupid 'terminal fee' is for.. the people who collect this don't even give a receipt. May all people should ask for one the next time they pay something like this. We're not even sure this is all going to the airport. In fact, NAIA is the only airport in the world that you have to pay this stupid 'terminal fee'. You'll never experience that in the US, Japan or Korea - so what gives the Philippine airports rights to charge this when their overall services suck compared to other international airports?"

At the end of the day

I read a passage from this book a friend in the industry recommended. It's something like a bible for successful designers. It went something like this:

"At the end of any given day, it's not about who met the deadline, who missed it, who blew what up, or who wronged who. It's always about relationships. What good would it be to insist your client is wrong? For the sake of saying that it wasn't your company's fault - at the expense of losing a client? The matter at hand is not just the project, but the RELATIONSHIP between the client and the company. Because if there is no relationship, there is no business.

This is even more importantly so within any organization - flaming the junior who couldn't perform up to par with your expectations doesn't deserve to be ill-treated for it. What would be the best thing to do - is to know the person, then talk it over, and discuss ways to strengthen your organization by improving people (in whatever aspect). In this way, you are in a win-win situation. You win favor from your junior, and you make the company stronger. Isn't that what we all look forward to at the end of the day?"

* Adapted from the book "Designers in Handcuffs"

Moments

Cool vibrations

I had the best friday. I got a real kick from covering our company outing, shooting photos hour after hour. It is a reminder of a source of happiness that I haven't been drawing from in a long time. I'm so glad I decided to take pictures during that time.

Suffocating

What if your significant other wanted to be with you during the whole day in an outing and you wanted to do something else or perhaps, wanted to hang out with your other friends? That just sucks. Remember, this is a "what-if" so I'm not entirely wrong. It happens.

When your eyes meet

I hate moments like those - when you occasionally stare at someone then you veer away looking smug. Then some other occasion in the day, you catch her staring at you as well. It's like.. "It's your fault - stop being pretty! so I won't stare".

Moment Collector

One of the perks that comes with being adept to your camera is that you have the power to tell a story - in the form of still photos. It's a story that will live on even if you are forgotten.

I sowed a seed of moments, good, bad, exciting, and awkward moments during that day.
With every click of the shutter, every focus adjustment, I was intoxicated with satisfaction.

With a feeling like that everyday - who would need love?

Post-mortem

After reviewing my proofs, I realized that I missed a lot of good shots but it was still better compared to my previous sets. And yes, one of the things I like about mingling with your fellow camera enthusiasts is that you get to see if others did a good job of covering an event, and uh... compare (stolen) shots (of the hottest girl that day).

And the most important lesson - never take too many shots of your crush - it will manifest in the sets. And if that happens, the girl will be forever a crush.

Why you should never stop

If there is anything, the best thing that actually happened in the course of the outing - it was the birth of new friendships. A lot to last a day, a good many to last my stay in the company, some to be there when it counts, and a good few to last forever...

How to kill the ex-girlfriend

Everytime it's a night out with the boyz in the hood, I am always asked for advice on "letting go", blah blah. It's really funny because every story I hear about severing connections with the ex that wants to be friends again is tainted with BURNING RAGE. It's more funny than it is scary. Personally I consider it one of the most immature things to do. Love is for highschool, a relationship that actually works is for adults, but whatever, this just came off my head.

I suggested something short of what is more commonly known as revenge. If your now-single ex is looking for a job and comes to you asking for a referral, have her apply to a company - where your current girlfriend is. Of course, don't let her know. Then when she gets in and she finds out that your girlfriend is working there (and is hopefully her boss) a situation like that is anything short of perfect.

Take note: You must be happily in a relationship, and must be sure that you do not care about your ex anymore, because this could backfire if you are emotionally unstable (but rarely are guys).

I can see it now - visions of Voltes Five holding up his laser sword with lightning and thunder effects in the background.

But of course, the difference is that Voltes Five would be screaming "DIE BITCH!!" instead. =D


Dammit, when are they going to turn this thing into a legit profession?! I could make a killing out of this.

Missed Connections

There was a story told by my friend back in one of my previous lives about wanting to date a department secretary in their floor. Unfortunately, as he met her, it was her last week at work, as she was a contractual employee. That was the first and last time he ever saw her. Not that it was love at first sight. I could tell from the description that she was a bit interested in him too. However, sometimes, there are moments that never allowed for things to work out due to circumstances that you just couldn't control.

There was also this one time when I was on a footbeat to the mall when I saw a lady walking in the same direction. We were almost walking at the same pace so she was always in peripheral view. She wasn't a supermodel or anything and wasn't in get-go makeup. She was plain but neat. Hair done in ponytail but pinned up. It seems to be the new style nowadays. And she made me think that angels probably go to work on earth as well.

There was a brisk-walking man who whizzed past me, then the lady, causing her to lose her balance a bit and bump me by the shoulder. She apologized aptly and I smiled in acknowledgement, dismissing it.
As we reached a fork in the pathway I went my way and she went the opposite way. And that was that.

Those encounters was what would be more popularly known as a 'Missed Connection'. Whenever I remember that story, I look at how many missed connections actually passed by. There were a couple of good ones actually.

To further my curiosity on this term, I looked it up in google. Lo and behold, I saw a crapload of ads looking for Missed Connections, usually at craigslist (it seems to be the most popular place to look). There were about hundreds of entries, I didn't bother looking at the details of each, and closed the browser.

It's kinda funny coz you realize that this stuff happens almost everyday - in so many occassions that it unconsciously adds to the reason of going out to work more exciting.

And I understand now my personal definition of makati as a city of angels.

Take care of yourself

I just read a long email from a friend abroad. This friend of mine, was a software engineer until he shifted to project management. He was complaining at how boring his work has become. He has lost the drive to advance since well, he has become a project manager. He lost the resolve to learn the new technology tools, the new methods, etc. I replied suggesting a lot of things about management career advancement. However it seemed that the wick has run out. At this rate, He's going to be a lifer, just waiting until his retirement. How sad.

He was probably wondering what life would have been for him if he decided to continue being a software engineer. He was just so tired of studying, and adapting to new technology tools and methods. He had a point actually.. when it comes to "updating" oneself, this is where the people who really know their stuff outshine people who are in this industry for the money. Bad choice I think - the IT industry is not where the money is. Be a doctor or a lawyer instead. Surely, all the expensive tuition and long years of study should merit the right to charge in one day what would take an (IT) industry professional months to make.

One of the perks of working in the IT industry in particular, is that you have more power to take care of yourself compared to working in other industries. If you were, say.. in a horizontal industry (one in which once you're licensed, that's it, there's nothing new to learn), the only meal ticket to success would be connections (probably experience but it wouldn't weigh as much).

Anyway, I told him to take a serious look at his career now and if he can't see himself on that same track growing, years from now, then it's high time to decide what is it in terms of career that he wants. I still believe he didn't take up computer science just to shift to a job that isn't dynamic. If that was the case, then it's game, set and match.

I guess that holds true for everyone in the IT industry - if you don't see yourself in that career happy and growing YEARS from now, then better take good look and take care of yourself.

Where are you going?

This year is tagged as the "exodus" year as a lof of things have happened since the first quarter.

Two of my friends are leaving, 1 for the US and the other for Australia. I'm so happy that they're finally getting theirs.
I hate to say this, but it seems that whenever I congratulate people who have finally got their immigrant visas, other people make a lot of side comments such as "it's better here", etc. I have only one thing to say to them:

"RESPECT" fools!

I guess it's another of those defense mechanisms triggering.. just because someone's family owns a business here, they never thought of or dreamed of migrating. Why should other people follow their suit? They didn't own a business like them. So I think it's but natural for them (my friends who are leaving) to do what they are doing - because the system here wasn't working for them, instead it was screwing them bad. (I didn't mean you wouldn't be screwed if you went elsewhere, but you would rather be screwed by foreigners than your own countrymen).

My only wish for them - is that they never stop being industrious. Our being hardworking is a mealticket to quality living, wherever we are in the world.

By the end of this year, two more of my friends are looking forward to going out - one to Dubai and the other to Canada. We'll talk about that in another story.

I look outside the window of the cafe from where I was drafting this.. I see so many "beautiful" people, tell them that you want to migrate, and you'll probably learn why they like to stay in Manila. Not everyone was dealt the same hand - so they're just playing theirs the best way they possibly can.

Shopfitting

And we're back. I can't believe it. After months of absence from the hobby that once was - blogging, I find myself in the same mindset as I was when I started with the first release of UWC. I felt that the first one was a success, having accomplished my goal - to spend at least a year in the shoes of a blogger.

Now, the flame for that has escalated into something else - the further need to create more value for my visitors and as well as myself.

Shopfitting is current on-going, so gimme a couple of days and I'll have this up and running.

For the new visitors, welcome to Urban Warrior Cybercafe - 2nd blend. The link to the 1st version is in the sidebar. It's been a good 2 years for that lifetime. This time we're back with a whole lot of stories, with a whole new flame and shopfit.